How to Kill Your Website

There are tons of articles out there on the internet dealing with search engine optimization. Some are bland and complex, while others are outdated or incorrect. SEO done correctly will allow people to find you when they search for something in your niche. Poor SEO, even with the best of intentions, will murder your website quicker than beer turns to piss. So if your goal is to murder your website, just follow these 5 easy steps!

Write a Bunch of Crap

If you really want to kill your website, write really poor content that nobody cares about. Riddle it with excessive profanities, spelling typos, l33t5p3@k, chat room acronyms (OMG!! LOL,WTF???) and grammatical errors. If that’s too much work, you can download some crappy PLR articles and post those, or just copy and paste content from somebody else’s website.

How it kills: Duplicate content penalties, thanks to Google’s search algorithm. Plus you’ll look like an ignorant, immature, and unethical jackass.

Don’t Update Very Often

You’ve already got a great website. Why bother changing it? Whatever content you post is the absolute best it will ever be, and you just can’t improve on perfection. So once you get your site built, just let it sit there. If you get a wild hare up your ass to make updates, make sure they’re sporadic updates without any set schedule. The last thing you want your website to convey is that you give a damn.

How it kills: Contrary to popular SEO myths, fresh content does NOT increase your search rankings by itself. But it does make you & your company look active, alive and relevant.

Abuse Keywords

Everyone knows that make money online keywords tell the make money online search engines what your make money online site is about. If you want your make money online website to die a slow and painful death, you should use make money online keywords in every make money online sentence of your make money online content. After all, if one make money online keyword is good, a whole bunch of make money online keywords is better, right?

How it kills: Loading your site up with keywords is annoying to the reader. They’ll get pissed off, loose interest, and go back to watching the 2-legged horse on YouTube. Plus, your site will get flagged for spam, which causes your search rankings to plummet.

Ignore Social Media

Nobody cares about social media, right? After all, sites like Facebook and Twitter are just horrible, what with all the advertisements, privacy concerns, and stupid games. You’re a business professional, not a prepubescent girl chatting up your BFF’s (OMG!! LOLWTF???). There’s no business value to social networking. If there was, why would so many business, school, and community networks block access?

How it kills: Not having a Facebook profile or page makes you look antiquated and out of touch with society. That will kill your reputation quick, along with your website. Besides, who needs to reach the 800 million people worldwide who are active on Facebook, 50% of which log in every day?

Come to the Dark Side

Using any black hat SEO techniques is a great way to kill your site, so go balls to the wall with it! Get into link farming, buying backlinks, cloaking, content scraping, keyword stuffing, invisible text, doorway pages, spamming, the list goes on! So go ahead, blow your money on these get-rich-quick schemes, and kill your website in the process.

How it kills: At first it will look like this actually helping your site, but I assure you, it’s only a matter of time before your site dies a slow, horrible death… not just from the search engines, but from the readers who think your website is just spammy crap.

TL,DR Summary:

Your website will be viewed by people, so build your website for people. Your audience will ultimately be the deciding factor of how well your site ranks, and they’ll show it by visiting, sharing, and contributing. If you DON’T want your website to die, you need to have good content and good SEO.

Bear in mind, good SEO is not just something you can “set and forget”. It’s a complex blend of science and art, which requires a lot of time. You’ll probably spend more time SEO’ing than creating a good website. If SEO isn’t not something you understand or have time for, there are professionals who know what they’re doing that can do it for you. Combine excellent content with professional SEO service, and there’s no reason why you can’t have a successful website.

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2 Responses to “How to Kill Your Website”

  1. Madam Ella says:

    Right on sweetcheeks! I like it. I need to update Guarded Path more often.

  2. This is a really excellent study for me. Must recognize that you are one of the hottest blog writer I ever saw. Thanks for publishing this useful details.

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